When I was little I had huge dreams, which were made opaque by the reality of the harshness of life and the world. When I finally came to my senses at age 22 I knew I wanted to accomplish very much, but not much of it was aimed toard artistic goals. No, it wasn't until my great grandma was dying and made me promise her to start painting again. She wanted me to 'Do something with [my] talent". After she passed away I had some very hard times. 2011 was a very very rough year for me and it brought a lot of new realities. I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia after a long time of suffering about 8 months ago. There are still many many health problems the doctors cannot explain. The main thing is that my illness has deprived me of energy and the light I used to have in my spirit. I hurt, and I am tired almost all day. I can no longer do simple tasks like switching the laundry or playing with my kids, sometimes, for fear of exhaustion. This has caused to to look inward for release and I have been developing my art, and started my own jewelry line. My shop is about all I am able to do, I can only work about 1 day a week at my 'real' job. This job is cathartic to me, creating and painting. I feel that I may not be s focused on my art if I hadn't developed this illness. A lot of the time I grieve for who I used to be and what I am no longer capable of doing, but when one door closes another opens, and I plan to use my talent the best I can and share it with others. I get frustrated and angry that I am being slowed down in college by this mysterious, invisible illness. But I think it has led me back to my spiritual place, which is rooted in art.
