DRAFT: When Folks Insult Your Business

[#1]

Recently some things have been stirring up that I didn't realize I would be facing. Nobody clued me in that my blankets, pillows, coasters, jewelry and honey would be considered "little toys," including by other crafters (some of who also make jewelry). =P

I think this might be a good topic to cover to help those who face the public that will blatantly say condescending things about their business and / or craft work. Can we get some people to pitch in on this one? I think it will require a lot of hands. :)

Let's first discuss some examples of how your business was looked down on, why it was an incorrect view and what you did about it. I think sharing stories would help show others that they aren't alone in this endeavor and also we can help them handle these types of situations.

[CraftySueShop]

Because I use old vinyl record albums for much of my crafting, I'm often yelled at by people who scold me for melting "collectible" albums and cutting up the record jackets. Even though I state clearly (in person, on signs and in listings) that I only use already damaged records and recycle them to keep them out of the landfills and preserve the music in some way, I often get grief over it. I'm a record collector myself and I'd never damage a playable record, but the message just doesn't register with some people!

[Former_Member]

I spend anywhere from 8-12 hours a day working on our Etsy businesses, plus run a Private Piano Instruction business. When people comment that I'm "just home all day", I feel offended that they don't understand. This is a good topic.

[HappyCosmos]

I love this topic. It helps a lot to see what others go through and that we are in this together...I have received feedback from my dad especially. He always mentions that he can make my items faster and charge a more expensive price than I and to "hand the business over."

[PraiseBead]

I haven't had anyone put my product down, but I have had a view instances where people insult me because of what they assume are my religious views! In the forums on Etsy I have been referred to in quite a rude way as "that religious seller" when discussing something about marketing LOL. I would *never* bring any religious view to a forum or to my workplace!

[Former_Member]

I just hate the mentality that if you dont work for someone else you dont 'work'. Running my business Ive put in way more hours and work then I ever did working for someone else!! They think you sit home all day doing nothing! lol

Strangers/ friends are behind me but my mom and my boyfriend think its a joke. They always want me to get a 'job'. They expect I should be rolling in sales over night when it takes time. My boyfriend doesn't think any business is real till you have 5 employees... Total crock and we get in fights about it. At times I just want to tell him where to go... theres the door.... dont let it hit you on the way out... My mom, I just dont tell her much...

In less than 6 months my store has become a pretty solid part-time income. (Etsy is a second 'job' for me, already self employed with my graphic/photography, I needed supplement) In my eyes thats huge for such a short time selling on a very saturated site/internet. Neither of them get that. Hes finally over people will actually buy painted cans and jars? They sure will! lol

[BelovedDollDesigns]

Kelly, that is especially interesting and probably one of the toughest hurdles to deal with when in a self-employed endeavor: the fact that self-employed is still work that provides income. My parents used to be the same way years ago when I was younger, where the only acceptable work was to work for someone already established.

Isn't it crazy how deep-rooted that notion is when we aren't all that far away from the times of when everyone worked for themselves?

[Former_Member]

I just do what I need to do. All those work for 'someone else jobs' started at the bottom just like us!

I always refer to Apple or the like. They started at home! I'll never be that big(dont want to be!) like them but, they started broke and struggling just like the rest of us. They built empires from a garage.

My mentality is love what you do and never work a day in your life! :D With all the hours I put in I feel jobless and that trumps any negative things people say.

[KarenHeenan]

When I quit my office job in April to build my handmade business full time, my in-laws asked flat out was I "expecting my husband to support me?" Well, yes, that's what the ring was for! (Only in an emotional sense, however - I had savings put aside toward this endeavor before I even discussed the idea with him, but still!). Now that I've been working from home for 9 months, they still ask when I'm going to get a job, and how my "little shows" are going. It's difficult having holiday meals with people who you want to brain with the roasting pan for sheer lack of comprehension. Thankfully my husband, when presented with the idea of my trying to do this full time, said, "If you've worked it out, you don't need my permission. If it doesn't work, you'll either find a new job or find a way to make it work." He doesn't necessarily understand what I do, but he has confidence in me that I can do it. Sometimes that's all you can ask!

As far as customer comments, I've had people pick up my stuffed animals, pull them this way and that, and when I ask if I can help them or answer any questions, they'll flat out say, "No, thanks, I'm just seeing if I can make this myself." Even if that was my thought, I'd never have the guts to say that to someone out there selling their wares.

[Former_Member]

I spend 40-70 hours per week on my shop oneway or another.
When I tell peopleabout my shop I have had people comment.

"Ow yeah I have some junk that needs tobe listed at the weekend" Talking about another site.

I do try to tel them that my items are NOT junk, but it doesn't help when hubby is stood behind me saying "ow hopefully a few less "dust collectors around the place.

[Former_Member]

I had my Etsy shop referred to as my "little card business" by my aunt the other day when she was asking how it was going. It was the first time since I opened shop that someone has be condescending to me about my shop.

I've been feeling a bit down about how my shop is doing lately so it wasn't really what I wanted to hear. Boo.

Karen: That's pretty nuts that they would jump right to you wanting to be supported. I'm glad you husband supports you (emotionally, of course).

I can't help but notice that it seems like female entrepreneurs are disproportionately affected by these attitudes towards our business endeavors. :(

[Former_Member]

we also sell at the Renaissance Festival here in Colorado. We are the only chainmailler there.

We constantly get people who roll their eyes and say they can totally make it themselves, and nothing makes me hulk out faster.

I smile politely and tell them thank you for visiting. All you really can do, but I have written pages of rants regarding the situation.

[BelovedDollDesigns]

@April: I have to agree. Well over a half century since the women's movement and people still can't wrap their heads around the idea that women can do more than just pop out babies.

Boyfriend and I recently had to repeat over and over to his father that in these modern times, women can do anything men can. His father still couldn't grasp it. He always makes a big deal out of everything when a woman is involved in something. The latest thing he's been carrying on about is how women are making music. XD

[Former_Member]

@BelovedDoll

I've been getting pretty ranty about this topic lately, mainly because I'm committing to learning programming this year and the amount of conversations I've been involved in where I'm apologized to because "I must be so bored" or "you probably aren't getting much of this" is pretty overwhelming.

I've noticed a trend in threads in the forum where Etsy craftspeople aren't hugely supported and it always seems to be a woman starting these threads. I'm lucky in that I've had a ton of support, but then comments like that creep in and I feel so deflated.

It's really unfortunate that in 2014 it's still a default that we are all just puttering around because that's what women do.

Let's all grow our businesses into empires and show everyone what's what, yes?

[WireExpressions]

@ Khatovar Chainmail - I've tried a bit of chainmaille...I've been holding pliers in my hands doing wire work for 13 years...It's even tricky for me...next time politely offer to sell them some over priced rings and say be my guest! 350 rings, 6 hours later and nothing to show...they may sing a different tune! Tee hee

Seriously though, when you get those comments, start talking positive about your art and sell it's complexity. Talk about how many rings, how long it took you to make a piece, what inspired you to make it and about the art of chainmaille. They might change their mind and you may generate a few sales. You're stuff is great, don't get discouraged by those comments.

[BelovedDollDesigns]

@April: Agreed! We can show them that we can reach those heights. :) Women everyday are doing it (Rumiko Takahashi is one of them) - I think the naysayers are just in denial or fear change. Side effect of living in a male-dominant world.

I have to agree about the frustration so I feel you there. You just wanna scream out to the world "Get over it" because truthfully it doesn't matter what set of genitals you have.

I feel fortunate with my boyfriend, even with his father being the way he is. He's fully supportive of anyone (man or woman) pursuing what they want to do regardless of what that thing is. He doesn't think it's some crazy, radical idea for a woman to be a mechanic or a doctor.

He also has this crazy notion that working for yourself is still a job that brings income. ;)

In the olden days it used to be that everyone worked for themselves and it wasn't all that long ago that such a concept was common. It's crazier to think of how quickly the idea of "you -have- to work for someone else" became the norm somehow. I think once enough folks get on board with working for themselves (especially since it's getting to the point where that is the only option for many), people will change their minds more and more. My parents did.

[Former_Member]

@Kristi - Oh, no worries there, I hulk out about it for sure. It upsets me a lot, but when they walk away, there's nothing broken there. For every 1 of those, we have 10 more over at our shop loving our jewelry. It's not so much not loving the piece that bothers me, it's the looking down their noses and thinking they magically have a talent it has taken me, and our other crafters years to make what it is.

At the end of the day, we know they're going home to continue their bitter shenanigans, and if they so choose to pick up a pair of pliers, hours of frustration and rage. :D

So far as working for others goes, I'm a little weird there, I work in an office full time, but I am genuinely happy at said office, it is not just out of needing the money, it's because I love where I am and care about what we work for.

When it comes to Khatovar and our etsy shop on here, it really is nice to have the freedom to work on it when I want and how I want, that is for sure!

[Former_Member]

@Beloved

I'm very lucky with my SO as well, I was talking to him about my day job yesterday and he went on this giant rant about how it somehow because the norm that "everyone hates their job" and how it's not okay for most people to think it's normal to hate a third of their life. He's been a HUGE support for me in this shop.

I totally a agree that it's really odd for it to be the norm that you should work for someone else and even weirder that it's normal for people to hate it a little bit.

There does seem to be a movement right now with web based business of people striking out for themselves as well as a feminist craft movement. These are all very good things, and if you think about it, it's pretty amazing that we all get to be involved in a community like this where we are all starting our own businesses.

I think you are right that once it normalizes we should see more people changing their minds on it.

[LittleFroggySurfShop]

I'm new to the ETSY world of business, but I have a full-time job as well - and this is something I've learned to grow a thick skin with. There will always be people who try to knock you down to boost their own confidence (and usually they are totally insecure on the inside).

I've decided that my "craft" takes a different kind of skill then others. I can't sew or knit or paint to save my life - but I'm pretty tech savvy with a computer. Not the best, but frankly - the only people that concern me are my customers. If i'm techy enough to do what I need to do to get my creative vision out, great. If someone else thinks I'm not "creative or crafty" enough.. then that's their problem.

Anyway.. thanks for the invite to this board! :)

I'm one of those types of peeps who would rather work with a group that helps each other so everyone is successful. I wish everyone was like this - there is a lot of room at the top for everyone!