Buyer cannot access order for lost shipment

[3dCuriosAndSolutions]

I shipped out an order that was lost in the mail. 

Now I am trying to work with the buyer to submit a proper help request and then open a case so that Etsy would cover the refund.

But the buyer is saying she cannot "find" the order. I even forwarded the shipping notification so that she can click the "Help with Order" link in there. She is saying that is also not working.

How can I get the buyer help to access the order? Or is there another way I can do this?

For whatever reason I have had a run of bad luck with lost and delayed shipments and bad addresses. Too many out of pocket refunds and replacements.

In this case there is a language barrier and some failed deliveries before the package was lost. The short version: a high maintenance buyer on a cheap item and I want to bail out. I don't want to send another item internationally just to have the same happen.

What would you do?

[LeLightFantastique]

Do you really want a case opened against your shop for what you say is a cheap item? I would just refund and forget about sending a replacement.

[3dCuriosAndSolutions]

Help me understand this please: I have always in the past either refunded or shipped a replacement on my cost until recently when I dealt with a really rude person: The first item was delivered and he claimed he did not receive it. So I shipped a new item on my cost. Again it showed delivered and he claimed it was not. He did not reach out to me on the second item but instead immediately opened a case and was refunded immediately by Etsy. And he immediately left a bad review.
So I did some research and getting a lot of conflicting info: Some people say to just eat the lost shipments but others swear by going the Etsy refund route (claim).

What is so bad about going the claim route? Besides being a hassle for the buyer. I am basically trying to follow this process outlined by Etsy:

How do I qualify for Etsy Purchase Protection? 

Etsy Purchase Protection will automatically cover qualifying orders with no setup required from the seller.  

The Etsy Purchase Protection process only begins after:

1. A buyer reaches out to you about an order through a Help request
2. The buyer opens a case about the order
   

Once a buyer has taken both of these actions, Etsy will review the order and make a resolution. If the order is eligible for Purchase Protection, Etsy will refund the buyer, and you’ll keep your earnings from the sale.

[CraftyCornishMaids]

did they buy as a guest,

if not, give them this link to their purchases

https://www.etsy.com/uk/your/purchases?ref=hdr_user_menu-txs

they have to open a help request, you have to refuse to help them, then 48 hours later they can open a case against your shop.

all that time, they can leave a bad review, because you know it is lost, so should have claimed against your shipper and refunded, not take our fees and refund from us - because that's where etsy's refunds come from, either the seller, or the rest of us.

and one thing etsy says they require from a seller, for seller protection, is that you claim from your shipper first

https://www.etsy.com/uk/legal/policy/purchase-protection-program-for-sellers/34509585385

extract...

If a seller has obtained third party insurance, or has carrier, and/or payment processor coverage, we ask that they first submit a claim to their primary coverage. Etsy reserves the right to process a refund only where other coverages do not apply.