Weird PB&J request

[#1]

Just killing some time, thinking about my day.

I have my daughter's Math tutor coming today. She's a friend of the family, but I pay her for her time. $25 an hour- not cheap.

You know that saying "Lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on MY part"?

Well, apparently she's decided to save some time and money- by asking me to provide her with a PB&J sandwich "and an apple or something" when she comes on Mondays, because she has to "rush off" to her choir practice, and she's "sick of fast food".

I think that she ought to feed herself, not ask me to pack her a friggin' lunch every week!

OK, so sometimes she exceeds the 1 hour with my daughter (which is HER CHOICE) and no, I do NOT pay her for going over the 1 hour session.
In fact, I've had multiple conversations with her about my budget and keeping sessions to 1 hour.

So, Threadkillers- what do you say?
Shall I fix her up a PB&J on a WEEKLY basis, without mentioning that I feel it's kind of rude for her to ask that of me...?
Should I just make the stupid sandwich, keeping in mind that she's a friend of the family, and just consider it a kind thing to do, since (sometimes) she stays longer with my daughter?

Ugh. Mondays.

[Former_Member]

This thread is funny. Yes, it definitely took balls for her to ask that! Most people would never ask or expect something like that. However, I would just laugh to myself and go with it, she sound eccentric and a bit nutty, but she's a friend of the family and a good tutor to your daughter. She is just on a different planet and isn't at all fazed by asking you to feed her. She's not a kid that could use a lesson in right and wrong, she is an adult who is clearly never going to change. I say just accept her as kooky, make her the sandwich and have a good giggle about it when she leaves every week.

I would add to keep your boundaries though, if she starts pushing for more than a sandwich, like can I borrow your car to get to choir practice? Or can I use your shower to rinse off before I go and maybe borrow your toothbrush? Most definitely put your foot down!!!!

[Skarvery]

what bugs you the most - the fact that she had the nerve to ask for the sandwich, or actually preparing it for her?

if she was super nice about asking for it, if she hadn't been so straight up in your face about asking you for it, would you still mind going out of your way to make it for her?

...i'm not really sure what to advise since I feel that these types of things are always so relative - it always depends on the little details that we, online, don't get to see. maybe its just me but i feel like its always more involved than that. so you should go with whatever makes you feel most comfortable in terms of - what o you think is the best response that would make you feel like you've done the right thing but preserved your integrity at the same time?

um, yeah i sound like a friggin old shrink now... sorry...

bottom line - if it was me - i'd wait till the next time she comes when i have to pay her again, and as i'm giving her the money i'd say (in my nice, casual, tone) ''this is the $25 for the hour, thank you so much for all your help, and, listen, i have to tell you - i'm sorry, but i won't be able to help with sandwiches. between the kids and everything in the house i simply don't have the time to fix lunch for anyone."
and if she starts objecting i'd just tell her that it's a great help to have her come "work for me" because i get to use that time to do important things around the house, but if this "job" interrupts with her daily schedule then maybe we need to figure something else out.

[Former_Member]

My family has always had an open refrigerator policy. Tell where you keep the P&J, bread and knife and while she is at it to make one for you :)

I think it is odd that she wants you to make it.

[PrintablesByPhanie]

Yana, I was actually thinking the same thing. There's a lot that goes on that we don't see (being online). Maybe if she had asked nicer?

Dawn, I love that idea! LOL- "The bread's in the fridge!"

[dressurdolly2]

Is your daughter's math improving? Because bottom line...all personal feelings aside...for me as a parent, that is what would matter the most. Back in the 70's when I needed a math tutor, I paid $60 an hour. So I'm hearing your story, and thinking, "$25.00 an hour and a sandwhich = BARGAIN".

But I'm wondering if there is something else at work here, as Yana suggests. Maybe your daughter's skills aren't improving that much and that is annoying you?

[SavoyFaire]

Sure the recalled PB is right over there! lol

[Former_Member]

lol Gail that is horrible but funny they did have a recall on it recently too

[GoodnessInTheCosmos]

Gail, I was just thinking about that , lol!

Just make the pbj. A lil bit of commUnity service does the spirit good.

[PrintablesByPhanie]

Gail!!! Rofl! Not nice!

[NYBeadworksDesigns]

I think it's very nervy for her to ask that of you.

That said, I'd probably make her the sandwich. (Then I'd pat myself on the back for being such a good 'employer'.)

;)

[Skarvery]

Lmao the PB was recalled?! why? which brand?

[NYBeadworksDesigns]

Sorry... just read the entire thread. I had assumed she was a nervy, time strapped student.

If this tutor doesn't work out for you...

My son is in NHS. They need community service hours! Some will tutor kids for free or little money. I know my son would. If you call the local High School they can refer some excellent students that are in a learning frame of mind and have usually been through the same coursework your child needs help with.

[SavoyFaire]

LOL! Ok figured you'd all get a laugh and I couldn't resist!
If I had leftovers I'd offer her that but all the time every time?

Yana like 200 brands just google it - where have you been?! lol

FINAL ANSWER:
You either do or don't.
Sounds like you don't want to so solution is get away from near mealtime or change tutors.

[SewCraftPatternShop]

When my son went to a tutor I'd usually slip some brownies or a homemade coffee cake in with his homework, and sometimes the tutor (a retired elemntary teacher, my son has dyslexia) would reciprocate with eggs from her chickens or a jar of home made jelly. She lived up the road and I drove him there and picked him up. She's dead now and she was a very fine lady. My son graduated college with a bachelors degree in polysci and anthroplogy despite the naysayers and there were plenty.

[SavoyFaire]

Lisa good point I wouldn't be paying $25 hr right now and good excuse to beg off how so is your opening. You can always say after a bit you found someone for free we had to as a family. Be done already!

[SavoyFaire]

So that's a NO on the recalled PB huh?! LOL

OMG PUBLIC thread! HAHAHAHAHA

[Former_Member]

Oh, boy! I'm laughing as I'm reading these responses... Thanks for the non-Etsy related advice, everyone!

Phanie- Yep, it's not my fault that she "can't" plan ahead.

Jen- your response on page 3 NAILED IT!!! Yes- she is eccentric, kooky, nutty & didn't think twice about asking me to make her a sandwich (and "an apple or something to go with it")- EVERY week.
But yes- she is a great tutor to my daughter.

Pattie- $60/hour, in the 70's? Yikes!

Gail- recalled PB? Oh, man! (And oh, crap!- I guess I had better look up that recall list!!)

I guess the bottom line was that I was annoyed that she had asked ME to make her food on a WEEKLY basis... Not just once.

But I'll point her in the direction of the bread and PB&J. And she can make her own damned sandwiches!!!!!!!

Of course, she might change her mind when the only bread choices are rye bread or kinda green and furry bread... (Eeeeewwwww!!!!) haha!

My Mom told me not to say anything, but "hide the bread" and keep a totally empty jar of peanut butter to offer her. (Oh, if you people only knew how passive aggressive my Mom is...!)

[PrintablesByPhanie]

public thread! Rofl!

[PrintablesByPhanie]

Sarah gets twenty lashings with a wet noodle!

[Former_Member]

Hah, I didn't know about the "public" and "private" threads...
For those following the saga of the PBJ, I've found an interesting thread from another team...
Here;s the PRIVATE thread link:

http://www.etsy.com/teams/5002/etsy-success/discuss/11110585/