Weird PB&J request

[Former_Member]

Just killing some time, thinking about my day.

I have my daughter's Math tutor coming today. She's a friend of the family, but I pay her for her time. $25 an hour- not cheap.

You know that saying "Lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on MY part"?

Well, apparently she's decided to save some time and money- by asking me to provide her with a PB&J sandwich "and an apple or something" when she comes on Mondays, because she has to "rush off" to her choir practice, and she's "sick of fast food".

I think that she ought to feed herself, not ask me to pack her a friggin' lunch every week!

OK, so sometimes she exceeds the 1 hour with my daughter (which is HER CHOICE) and no, I do NOT pay her for going over the 1 hour session.
In fact, I've had multiple conversations with her about my budget and keeping sessions to 1 hour.

So, Threadkillers- what do you say?
Shall I fix her up a PB&J on a WEEKLY basis, without mentioning that I feel it's kind of rude for her to ask that of me...?
Should I just make the stupid sandwich, keeping in mind that she's a friend of the family, and just consider it a kind thing to do, since (sometimes) she stays longer with my daughter?

Ugh. Mondays.

[dressurdolly2]

Actually...friend of the family...puts in extra time and doesn't charge...I'd be *cooking* her something to eat.

It just never hurts to do nice things. I've always been rewarded a hundred fold for going the extra mile with my friends and acquaintances. Truly.

[PrintablesByPhanie]

O.o ummmmmmm

I would find a new tutor. Or you can say, "Sure!, I'll be deducting the cost and my time from your fee."

This falls under the category of "not your problem". Maybe if she is so rushed she should reconsider tutoring? Friend of the family or no, this is a job.

[Former_Member]

You're right, Pattie. It never hurts to do nice things. =)

I guess since it's not a request I'd think of asking (if I was in her position), I just find it odd!

[PrintablesByPhanie]

I agree, Pattie, but one should never be prompted to do nice things by the reciever. Also, complaining about how sick she is of fast food and how rushed by way of a reason?

Sorry, I'm grumpy today.

[Former_Member]

Phanie- Yup, even though she's a friend of the family, I consider having her as a paid tutor to be a job, and I feel that the time she's her for tutoring shouldn't mix with visiting & chatting, and you know- personal stuff?

[Former_Member]

And she loves my kid. No question there.

She's just one of those people (like me, haha!) who constantly runs out of time... thus the "Lack of planning on YOUR part does not constitute an emergency on MY part" thought.

[KeepingItNatural]

I say fix her the pb&j-----karma

[Former_Member]

is she a starving student? I'd let her fix her own sandwich in the kitchen before she leaves or grab an apple.

[SewCraftPatternShop]

Leave a bowl of pretzels someplace and a bowl of fruit too. A few Hershey's kisses on the coffeetable and a nice mound of Utz cheeseballs. That's my house. Anyone is welcome to nibble. :)

[Former_Member]

Haha. Nope, it's not a starving student, but a middle age Grandmother who has never figured out how to get anywhere on time or be completely prepared. :/

I suppose if i were one of "those" organized people who always had groceries and meals and food on hand, I might feel different? (We'll never know the answer to that, I'm sure!)

[SewCraftPatternShop]

That puts a different spin on it. Kinda like Blanche duBois, dependent upon the kindness of strangers.

[Former_Member]

well middle aged grandma sounds like she should find her own food!

[Former_Member]

While I think it would be a nice gesture to make her something, I think it is kinda rude of her to ask you to fix her lunch every time she comes over. Why can't she make a sandwich herself before she leaves home in the morning? She is an adult, she should be responsible for what she eats.

[KeepingItNatural]

now I want pb&j

[Former_Member]

That puts a different spin on it. Kinda like Blanche duBois, dependent upon the kindness of strangers.

---"Always depended on the kindness of strangers" sort of thing?
Hmmmmm.
Maybe?

and Aimee- hahaha! Right?

[Former_Member]

While I think it would be a nice gesture to make her something, I think it is kinda rude of her to ask you to fix her lunch every time she comes over. Why can't she make a sandwich herself before she leaves home in the morning? She is an adult, she should be responsible for what she eats.
-----------------------------------------------------------

Hellz yeah!

(And, come to think of it, I'm kinda feeling in the mood for some PB&J now, too...)

[Former_Member]

In college I was a nanny between classes. I can't imagine asking them to make me a sandwich. They let me eat whatever I wanted, but I never expected it.

[dressurdolly2]

Gee. It's just a pb&j sammie. Is it really that big of a deal in the grand scheme of things?

Now...if she asks for cheescake for dessert......;)

[PrintablesByPhanie]

We'll not speak of cheesecake, as I have none.

I've got pb&j up the wazoo, however, but somehow that doesn't make me feel better.

[Former_Member]

Yep, it's only a PB&J. I know. 2 slices of bread & some pretty basic stuff schmeared on it. It's not gourmet. Totally manageable (most days, unless the bread happens to be a little fuzzy, lol).

It was the request to have one made for her, EVERY week, that annoyed me. Particularly because as an adult, I wouldn't ask someone to do that for me.

Funny- she just called and rescheduled for another day this week. And then she can feed herself, since she doesn't have to run off (late) to her chorus group.

[PrintablesByPhanie]

What if you scheduled a day that was less hectic for her? Is that doable?

[Former_Member]

It's not the pb&j so much as the principle. Whenever I wonder, am I being put upon? the answer is usually yes. I would tell her you will schedule the tutoring session a half hour earlier so that she has time to get herself some lunch. Excuse my French but that took balls.

[Former_Member]

What if you scheduled a day that was less hectic for her? Is that doable?
--- Um, nope. Probably not. She manages to run out of time every day...


It's not the pb&j so much as the principle.
--- Yup! That's it.


Excuse my French but that took balls.
--- But my tutor doesn't see it that way.


I'm thinking it's PBJ night here now...

[PrintablesByPhanie]

It may be time to find another tutor. I'm not being snarky- it's just that if she is that harried than tutoring may not be the best fit for her right now.

Rizz, you put my thoughts into words exactly. It's not about the sandwich- it's that she asked and used excuses (which are no fault of Sarah's that she can't plan) to justify it.

Then again, I ask permission to eat my parent's food whenever I'm over (despite them saying it's free game). Courtesy and gratitude go a long way.