Writing Workshop Follow Up

[#1]

Thanks to everyone who came out (/tuned in) to my Writing Workshop last night! As promised, let's keep those pens a-scrawlin'.

If you have any shop writing you'd like feedback on, feel free to link or post it in this thread. I'll be checking back in and sharing my thoughts, but I encourage all of you to give feedback as well!

And if you missed the workshop, you can find a recording of it on our Livestream channel: http://www.livestream.com/etsy/video?clipId=pla_8851deff-fd92-4bbc-9cbc-e02c71cebf6a

[Former_Member]

Just watched your writing workshop and I so need help with that so thank you for sharing havent done anything as yet but I've started this my present write and man I saw two flaws already LOL

so thank youfull for seeing the light :D
http://www.etsy.com/listing/46454463/blue-bell-faerie-antique-brass-plated?ref=v1_other_1

[Former_Member]

Hi dear friends!

If you have a minute could I get some feedback on my shop too?

Thank you very much!

[Former_Member]

Hi there! I would love some feedback of the writing in my shop, it's something I've never really had any feedback on. I try to make them a bit more exciting that "here is a red hat" or whatever but it can be such a time consuming task to be creative with words when you're not used to it hey?!

I try to re-use wordings to keep things consistent and just change a few details depending on the particular item to save time, but I would like to be a bit more memorable and quirky I think.

My shop can be found here:

www.linziloop.etsy.com

[Former_Member]

I could really use some help as my descriptions seem to get a bit wordy but I dont want to leave anything out in terms of themes colors
http://www.etsy.com/listing/70227900/it-was-all-yellow-original-fabric-fat

I think even my title is wrong eek!

[Former_Member]

I would also appreciate a feedback :)
Im not good with writing..lol..

[Former_Member]

Thanks so much, Michelle. I really appreciate your time and helpful feedback!! Now I need to get to work on my item descriptions. You really inspired me to step it up!

[Former_Member]

thank you for the feedback on my profile page Michelle :)

[DakotaRockDesigns]

How awesome it is to have a great group of people, willing to share their time & sow into others, words of inspiration, thoughts, & ideas.

Thank you so much for your time Michelle, Danielle, & the others.

I loved listening to the critiques, & I was stuck as to what to write myself. I laughed so hard when I realized that I too had the SAHM, Creating all my life, amongst others, in my "about me" section. I was glued to my computer last night, without dinner, until I accomplished a new version, hopefully meeting the expectations of my viewers. ;-)

http://www.etsy.com/people/ALittleXtraSomething?ref=si_pr

The remainder of this week, it appears as if some time will be taken in re-writing the rest of my shoppe.

However, I would love your perspective, because you don't know me. My family nods in acceptance, because they think they have to......... ;-) I do feed them you know.... ;-)

Thanks so much for your time - I look forward to your reply...........

Michele

[Former_Member]

Michelle, I got an email from Perry Marshall today, and thought of you after watching your writing workshop last night. This advice is just so spot-on for all of us. Thanks again, Michelle, and let's all thank Perry Marshall these tidbits of awesome writing advice:

Today I'd like to share one of my fave copywriting secrets.

Don't make people think. Except when you really want them to think.

In sales, making people think is generally a no-no. Stir people up 'til they open their wallets, right?

When your copy reads at a 5th grade level, it's primal. Gut level impact. It sails right into your reader's brain and sticks. Your reader spends his brain cells digesting your ideas, not your sentences.

You achieve this by....

-Never using a 4 syllable word when a 2 syllable word will do
-Using short simple sentences that get right to the point
-Making your paragraphs short and punchy

[Former_Member]

mtraub: Thanks for the positive feedback. Since I am a writer as well as a crafter, it was particularly heartening!

Hmmmm....wonder if I could market the skill of writing descriptions for crafters. What fun! Just a thought:)

[Former_Member]

Hi there,

I watched the recording of your workshop just now, thank you so much for offering some great advice and taking the time to do it! I've taken in everything you said and the audience suggestions/comments.

I'm not so good at writing descriptive and engaging text, it's a bit of an enemy so already this is a problem for me getting good sales. If you had the time to look at my shop and point out anything that should not be there or any thing I can improve on.

http://www.etsy.com/shop/lil3birdy?ref=pr_shop_more

Thanks so much!
Clare

[Former_Member]

I have a very hard time writing descriptions.

http://www.etsy.com/listing/73855236/queenly-tusks-earrings

http://www.etsy.com/listing/72661575/ninth-dynasty-earrings

[Former_Member]

I've been listening to the workshop today and am feeling very very British. My profile was extremely dry and boring, so I *hope* in the light of what I heard from Michelle I've brought a bit more of the real me into it. I'd be happy to hear what you think - but as I say, I'm a Brit. Please make allowances for my stiff upper lip! http://www.etsy.com/people/niftyknits

[Former_Member]

NaturalGlam, it is descriptions like yours (Queenly Tusks) that make me feel like I'm "very British". I particularly like the bit about the Queen's cloak and the "modern chic with an old world antiquity feel"

[Former_Member]

Thank you soooooo much for the feedback, Michelle! Tremendously helpful. I've really been enjoying soaking up all the info from your workshop, thanks for posting the link for those of us who couldn't make it! :)

[JudyCaron]

Hi Michelle-
I watched your workshop online. It was wonderful! Now I'm very inspired. BUT, Etsy is stifling that creativity. What I want to do, in the "about" section of my profile, is use pictures of my ornaments to tell customers about me. When I say I live in Salem, MA, I want to insert a picture of my witch ornament. When I mention working with my daughters' brownie groups, I want to insert a picture of my brownie ornament. When I say my kids graduated from college, I want to show my graduate ornament. Etc. But, Etsy won't let me do that.
Do you have any suggestions as to how and/or where I can tell my story? Thanks very much.
Judy

[Former_Member]

Natural Glam: You are an amazing description writer! I could feel your work process and your love of what you do. No need to change a thing.

One suggestion: I might consider the opening to be, "turquoise howlite tusks, modern chic with an old world antiquity feel and a contrast of femininity and masculinity" to get right to the point. Then follow with your paragraph on your process.

[Former_Member]

If there is anyway I can get your feedback on my profile, or anything else written by me, I would really appreciate it. I know it's rather long, and I'll probably be cutting it down, but I'd love to know what you thinkin the meantime.

Thank you!

http://www.etsy.com/people/BoToDoDesigns?ref=si_pr

David

[LaurelsArt]

@niftyknits
I like your profile. I don't know what it was before hand so i don't know how much you changed. But I like that I know a little more about you and why your on Etsy and where you came from . I can relate to the inner child and I think a lot of people strive to relate to their own inner child and are a little envious of people who succeed in this.
This profile thing is a process just like everything else. I have three drafts I'm trying to decide on with no luck??
http://laurelsart-thepowerofcreativity.blogspot.com/2011/05/reworking-my-etsy-about.html

[Former_Member]

Angel9 thank you for your critique...I think that is a great suggestion.

[Former_Member]

@Laurelsart - thank you for your thoughts. I've been to your blog and commented on your "about", great idea to draft it over there.

[Former_Member]

I am new to Etsy and I really want to make informed decisions when creating my shop. That is why I watched your writing workshop the other night and I found it very very helpful! I was wondering if you could check out my profile and shop info and let me know what you like and what you think I could change. Thank you!
Sorcha

[Former_Member]

Loved your workshop and because of it was inspired to write a profile. At least now I'm not on the wrong side of your stats! As a new seller, I'm reading all the articles and trying to learn the ropes. I know I need to be more visible. Lots to learn! Thanks for your effort at switching on the lightbulb.

[Former_Member]

hi michelle,

the seminar was really great! thanks.

i know i need to add a bit of personality/spark to my profile and i may be guilty of a cliche or 2 there!

would love some feedback on my descriptions . . . i can see an application for many of the ideas from the seminar for handmade products, but i often feel a little unsure when it comes to talking about fine art!!

thanku!
belinda

[Former_Member]

Clear as Mud?
Of course, my site looks good to me, but I'm concerned that others might not be inspired enough. I'd appreciate any thoughts you have on my profile or item descriptions.

http://www.etsy.com/people/KRAYVNaturals?ref=si_pr