Message/ questions from potential customer just go on and on

[PrintableYOUGiftShop]

Hi there,

I have received 2 messages from different people in the last 2 weeks.

They would like to buy something but have questions, which is fine. However the conversations go on and on with questions and then their personal life stories.

I love having conversations with customers however these seem odd to me. There is something about them that makes me feel they are just stringing along the conversation for no reason.

Every time I give them all the information they need, they ask the same questions I have already answered.

The one that is bothering me is once I said that I unfortunately don’t work on orders until they have gone through the system and been paid for they started speaking about their deceased child.

I expressed my sympathy and now they keep sending me sad crying faces….and I know she will send me another question to keep the conversation going.

Has anyone else had something like this, and what is the appropriate and professional thing to do? Do I either end the conversation and how would I do that politely or do I keep speaking to them… I don’t care if I get an order out of this I am concerned this is just a game from someone who is bored. Yet if it’s a real situation I don’t want to come off as not caring…I am just not sure where they are going with this.

I am aware of potential scams, I have received a few and don’t want to spend time with someone who is walking me into one.

Advice? 

[hopeandjoystudios]

You DO have the option to just mark them spam. Those are not customers but time/energy vampires. (What We Do In th Dark..Colin Robinson..) You can usually tell the difference after a few posts and for SOME reason if they DO buy there is generally an issue of some sort. Yikes. Be  professional. Repeat your info a few times then move on.

[bradgoodell · Accepted solution]

Energy Vampires.  Love the term, and accurate.

@PrintableYOUGiftShop , your items are inexpensive, which means the time you spend dealing with buyers eats into your profits rapidly.

"I'm sorry, but I don't think I am the right shop for you right now.  I hope you can find someone who can better meet your needs."

Then SPAM all of their past and future messages.  Do not engage anymore.  They will lose interest.  

[VINTAGEbytheMAGPIE]

@hopeandjoystudios .. Colin Robinson became my favourite character ... Tilda Swinton on the Vampiric council .. priceless. just a classic series ...the term Energy Vampire has also become part of our vocab too 

[OldRaven · Accepted solution]

When you feel you've done all you can to answer a customer's questions professionally, and then it veers into the unwelcome personal - it's time to block the person. Mark it as spam. 

[vintageNCtreasures]

You can't block someone from messaging you nor purchasing items.

All that block feature does is block them from "following" you which is basically useless.

Marking as spam doesn't stop someone from messaging but that message does go in the spam folder.

[CoquetteBath · Accepted solution]

some people like to share their stories. I get it, seems personal and intrusive, but clearly not to them.

I've had a few folks do that, too (think we all have) and in those cases, I don't respond quickly (which, if to a response back, you've met your original requirements per Etsy for answering messages...) and delay it out.

I don't share personal info, either. Had a person who kept asking me 'well, what do YOU like'? Ma'am I like everything, but not every scent. Well WHAT is the BEST scent? Ummm, depends on that individual. Can't speak for your family member. So maybe try this or that.

and if it keeps on, I just stop responding...

usually they stop messaging. I guess if anyone ever kept on & on, I'd just have to spam them. So far, I've not done that, because every time I've been able to keep it from escalating.

do what you feel is right. Not everyone who messages IS a customer. Some are just bored.

[OneEyeCatStudio]

because you are running a business and .....

TIME IS MONEY

[Vintorious · Accepted solution]

Trust your instincts. If the person is spinning in circles, you don't need to engage anymore. If you've given them all the answers and they still aren't ordering, there really is nothing more you can do. Mark as spam, or just read the messages and don't reply unless you feel you have to.

[GlassyFields]

I think you did the right thing. Answering questions, stating your policies on when you start working on a custom order, replying with condolences regarding the dead child ....

I have no idea what the person sending these messages is really doing but once you've done what you've already done, I think its fine to mark the message as spam and just let future messages go to spam.

I've had some people share personal stuff ... and some of those have become long time repeat buyers. They just are more into sharing.

And I've had other people share personal stuff ... and it get's weird. One wanted an item but couldn't buy now, asked me to hold it for her. I said I would and deactivated.  Kept messaging me with personal information, finally said ready to buy, I activated but then they sent messages with more problems. Made it sound like they had a guardian who controlled their spending. I went through what I suspect (or hope) are normal stages: Friendly/Interested, Sympathetic, Wary, Enough is Enough.

[EccentricHandbags]

They want you to feel sorry enough for them that you give your products away.  

[JustMeToo]

@EccentricHandbags   That certainly might be the case.  Sometimes though, it could be someone who is just lonely and reaching out to have someone to speak to.  I try to stay kind (three message limit though) just in case it's a sad issue.

[SimplyInvitingLLC]

I have recently had the same thing happen last week, I wonder if it's the same person, multiple requests to see a sample before ordering and the messages had a tone of sadness to them, it was a large custom order I set up and sent them a link. Normally I don't do free proofs but because etsy turned off my lights I decided to do it... then came the multiple change requests and to see it "one more time" and "as soon as I see it I'll place the order today"... I'm like ok it's like a 2 second change, no worry, send the heavily watermarked sample...no response, days go by, they totally GHOSTED me. It's pretty cr*ppy to do that for something that involves a dead child. But, not my karma. I'm back to refusing to send free proofs no matter how bad my shop is doing.

[PrintableYOUGiftShop]

Thank you everyone for the responses.

I feel more comfortable ignoring the messages now. I have just received another message from them and I think if they keep sending them after no response from me I will mark it as spam.

I appreciate everyone’s input

[hopeandjoystudios]

If you don't respond that will mess up your star seller rating if you care. Either spam or one word/short response. No response will count against you.

[SimplyInvitingLLC]

I highly recommend setting up an auto-reply, which counts as a response and won't hurt your SS. I also hate that through the app I still get shown the spam messages pop up on my phone and they also send me an email notification. They should just go straight to spam, it's there for a reason, don't bother me.

[JustMeToo]

I have had this experience.  Sometimes I think they're just lonely, and need someone to reach out to.  Just in case that's the reason, I'll be kind for two or three messages, and then I'll offer apologies, that I hope she can find what she needs, but I really must get back to work.  That has worked so far!

[PureMaddy]

I've had that happen to me twice. Multiple questions about measurements (length, width, color, total drop, etc) which are already noted on the listing(s) btw but I'll go ahead and answer their queries. After the 4th follow up question then asking me why I named the certain creation that name... "I'm sorry.... what?"... ok.. I'll answer that THEN ANOTHER follow up question of what part of "celestial" is it.... smh... by that time I've marked it as "SPAM".... I have to go to work in the morning... I've done your 20 questions... yawn.... zzzzzz

[FunkyJunkyVintage]

I feel like my #1 goal is to always give good customer service. However, there are boundaries and I draw the line when it comes to these things. Of course, I had to learn this the hard way with lots of wasted time and lots of angst!

Having been here over a decade, and spending considerable amounts of time here in the forums, this is an old story regarding the time suck some potential buyers create. They are not a customer at this point, you're losing money the longer it goes on.

I find that the most effective way to save my sanity is to cut my losses, i.e. time already spent, and let them know that since I'm unable to effectively progress that they would be better served by another seller. This is our right to refuse service.

If they respond in another thread, tell them they've already taken a fair allotment of your time with no progress or order and you have many other business duties to attend to. First warning to stop contacting you.

If they get aggressive tell them not to contact you further. Unfortunately we do have to tell them outright to stop contacting us for etsy to get involved with a harassment report.

If they do continue to contact you you must report them to etsy for harassment. You can mark their messages spam, but that doesn't get etsy involved.

Here's the direct link with etsy's guidelines:

https://help.etsy.com/hc/en-us/articles/360018966753-What-to-Do-if-You-re-Being-Harassed?segment=sel...

Yes, I have had to do this a few times through the years. It's much more time effective than continue the fruitless back and forth.

[AAANativeArts]

Some people are just lonely or thrive on the drama. I answer once or twice, then mark them Spam if they keep replying. If you stop responding, they will usually go away. You only have to answer the first post. If they are really bothering you,  you can ask them not to contact you anymore, and if they continue after that,  you can report them to Etsy for harrassment.