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I have a customer who said she placed an order over 24 hours ago and has no access to it BUT I don't have any order.
It was a digital instant download.
She says the money is out of her account. How do I help her or where do I send her to get help?
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As already said, tell her that you want to help her, but with no order showing on your end, you can't really do much.
She can try to contact Etsy support through this link:
https://help.etsy.com/hc/en-us/articles/115013375488-How-to-Contact-Etsy-Support

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Re: Help with customer who placed order I never received.
I would tell her I have no order from her and she needs to contact Etsy in case there was some sort of glitch. Also to make sure she "ordered" from YOU. and not somebody else.

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Re: Help with customer who placed order I never received.
If you don't have the order you can't help her so she needs to reach out to Etsy.

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Re: Help with customer who placed order I never received.
Some buyers don't understand we are individual shops. Ask her to look at her purchases.

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Re: Help with customer who placed order I never received.
I have never had a customer successfully contact Etsy. Where do I tell her to go to, who does she call/email/message?

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As already said, tell her that you want to help her, but with no order showing on your end, you can't really do much.
She can try to contact Etsy support through this link:
https://help.etsy.com/hc/en-us/articles/115013375488-How-to-Contact-Etsy-Support

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Re: Help with customer who placed order I never received.
Thank you! That is what I was looking for.

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Re: Help with customer who placed order I never received.
When a Buyer says money was taken out of their account, but not seeing their purchase on Etsy - it's possible they skipped the final step to return to etsy and complete the sale. Payment methods like PayPal have this feature, and its easy to overlook.