@DreamCatcherMan - If it were me & I received messages from anyone - shop or Etsy - that I made an error when leaving a review on a purchase those notifications/messages would immediately be sent to spam.
However, if you received any messages from the shop(s) you purchased from saying "thanks for order" or "order shipped" and you did not reply to them, then yes, you will be dinged for this.
Unless you have a separate buyer's account, your purchases, thru your user name, are tied to your shop. So all messages, including those related to purchases you made must be replied to. There is no way for Etsy to know the content of the messages you receive so it's all or nothing when it comes to the star seller program.
