Let’s face it; nothing gets our blood boiling like a serious conflict. Maybe you notice that your heart beats faster, your palms sweat, and your face gets flush. Your body gets the adrenaline pumping in preparation for the battle. When you feel these bodily signals, it’s a good idea to take some deep breaths and do some introspection.
Before you face a conflict ask yourself these questions:
* Would I rather win the argument or win the relationship?
* What rule states that someone else "must" do what I want?
* What are some options to solving this conflict?
* How can I be a part of the solution and create a ‘win-win’ for all involved?
* In the grand scheme of things, how important is this issue? Is this person?
* To what extent can I just ‘Let it go?’
Your inner preparation will pay off in a calmer demeanor and response when you face the conflict. This benefits both you and the other person and lays the groundwork for successful conflict resolution to occur.
Let Them Know You Care
When you are talking to someone do you make them feel that you really care about them? Author and Teacher, Richard Moss says “The greatest gift you can give another is the purity of your attention.”
When talking with others, here are a few things you can do to let people know you care:
* Ask open ended questions that start with words like "What' and "How".
* Repeat back what they have said so they feel that they have been heard and understood.
* Don’t interrupt.
* Show that you are listening by nodding your head, smiling and making affirming statements like "I see" or "yes".
* Make solid eye contact and don’t let your eyes wander.
* And keep the conversation on them.
The payoff for developing these disciplines is big because you’ve made someone else feel special, and you feel great about doing something good for someone else.
