25 - "A BILL OF ASSERTIVE RIGHTS" - Outline from Manual Smith, Ph D

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25 - "A BILL OF ASSERTIVE RIGHTS" - Outline from Manual Smith, Ph D

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Some people in our human society try to manipulate other people through trying to manipulate them into filling guilty and lowering their self worth, self respect, and self esteem. Consider these folks not good associates and ones to have as little to do with as possible based on the principle that "Bad Association ruins Useful Habits."

Certainly many believe there is a high power that created mankind and has an absolute right to judge individuals. Dr. Smith wrote his book which should be read for full understanding of his "Bill of Assertive Right." These are just shared here to help start the reader's understanding about how to best understand assertiveness and how to appropriately use assertiveness in our lives.

Number one is best understood by not leaving out the last part "take the responsibility for their imitation and consequence upon yourself.' Basically we are all responsible for our actions and our non-actions.

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I: You have the right to judge your own behavior, thoughts, and emotions, and to take the responsibility for their initiation and consequences upon yourself.

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II: You have the right to offer no reasons or excuses for justifying your behavior.

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III: You have the right to judge if you are responsible for finding solutions to other people’s problems.

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IV: You have the right to change your mind.

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V: You have the right to make mistakes—and be responsible for them.

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VI: You have the right to say, “I don’t know.”

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VII: You have the right to be independent of the goodwill of others before coping with them.

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VIII: You have the right to be illogical in making decisions.

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IX: You have the right to say, “I don’t understand.”

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X: You have the right to say, “I don’t care.”

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YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO SAY NO, WITHOUT FEELING GUILTY”

― Manuel J. Smith, When I Say No, I Feel Guilty: How to Cope - Using the Skills of Systematic Assertive Therapy

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You may or may not find these two YouTube videos helpful. You will be the ultimate judge of this yourself.

Being Assertive: 5 basic techniques
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1QPVWvkBnhI


bill of rights
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s6y_DI0f_HM

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“Giving reasons during conflict to justify or defend a viewpoint is just as manipulative as giving reasons to attack that viewpoint. Neither of these routes is an honest assertive I want that can lead to a workable compromise of interests to quickly resolve the conflict.” - Manuel J. Smith, When I Say No, I Feel Guilty: How to Cope - Using the Skills of Systematic Assertive Therapy

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Another source present this information:

T.E.A.C.H. Teach, Empower, Advocate for Community Health Recovery 101
Source: E.J. Bourne, The Anxiety & Phobia Workbook, 4 th edition

1 of 6 Recovery 101 – Assertiveness

Learning To Be Assertive

Being assertive means: I express my feelings and my views, I ask for things I want, and I say no to things I do not want. The first step to being assertive is knowing I have the right to ask for what I want. As a human being, I have certain rights. I have all the rights that follow:

PERSONAL BILL OF RIGHTS

1) I have the right to ask for what I want.

2) I have the right to say no to requests or demands I can't or do not want to meet.

3) I have the right to express all of my feelings, positive or negative.

4) I have the right to change my mind.

5) I have the right to make mistakes and not have to be perfect.

6) I have the right to follow my own values and standards.

7) I have the right to say no to anything when I feel I am not ready, it is unsafe, or it
violates my values.

8) I have the right to determine my own priorities.

9) I have the right not to be responsible for others' behaviors, actions, feelings, or
problems.

10) I have the right to expect honesty from others.

11) I have the right to feel angry at someone I love.

12) I have the right to be uniquely myself .

13) I have the right to feel scared and say " I'm scared."

14) I have the right to say " I don't know."

15) I have the right not to give excuses or reasons for my behavior.

16) I have the right to make decisions based on my feelings.

17) I have the right to my own needs for personal space and time.

18) I have the right to be playful and frivolous.

19) I have the right to be healthier than those around me .

20) I have the right to be in a non abusive environment.

21) I have the right to make friends and be comfortable around people.

22) I have the right to change and grow.

23) I have the right to have my needs and wants respected by others.

24) I have the right to be treated with dignity and respect.

25) I have the right to be happy.

It may be hard for me to accept some of these rights.

If I keep the Bill of Rights somewhere I can see it every day, I can be reminded of my rights.

If I see the Bill of Rights every day, I am more likely to believe in it.

I remind myself, these are my rights.

I deserve to have my rights respected , both by others , as well as by myself .

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If one also blends in the principles in Dale Carnegie's "How to Win Friends and Influence People" along with Covey's "7 Habits of Highly Effective People" --- then they should be able to become pleasantly and appropriately assertive.

What do you think?

You are your ultimate judge among human?

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