New "About" page, please critique

[HopeAndGracePens]

Based on an Etsy Success article here:
https://www.etsy.com/blog/en/2014/tips-for-crafting-a-killer-about-page/

I sort took a new approach to my About page. I'd really like some critique. Is this hitting the mark? Will this help bring potential clients into my store?

Don't hold back. I'm thick skinned!
Thanks.

https://www.etsy.com/shop/HopeAndGracePens/about

[GothicGraceJewelry]

I think it's very well done. Love your work. Your pics are great:)

[WaterStreetDesign]

Very very nice! Your pictures are terrific and the story is great. Good job :-)

[decembermoondesign]

I love that you included the photo of the pens that didn't turn out quite right.
I think it adds a perspective that any artist can appreciate.
I plan on having a photo of my screw ups, as well.

The page looks great!