Lessons I've learned the hard way....

[Former_Member]

1. Don't let people know what you have for sale and if you buy your supplies online or not. I live in a close knit community and people think they need to know all your personal business and it's none of their business how you spend your money or time.

2. Put things away when you have company. Work on your business in privacy because friends will start begging and a lot of times they don't want to pay you.

3. Show your friends and family none of your supplies because you'll end up giving them half or more of your supplies. People want want want. Don't even offer to sell them your supplies especially if you spent your time and gas and money to get them to your house.

4. Learn to say no. When people know your at home they want to come over or want you to spend your gas running around town when you need to be working. If they show up on your doorstep unnounced don't answer it and if you know it's them calling don't answer it.

5. Do your shopping alone. Somehow people are always broke and if you buy your supplies with them there they will beg you to buy them some too. And that's just bad business.

6. Don't give your stuff away. People will throw a fit over something then turn around and sell it.

7. Make people pay their own way. I went to my first local event and someone wanted to go in with me. They had no money to give me to rent the space and I eventually ended up buying the food, souvenires, and watched as they sold stuff I made for them.
They spent their money as soon as it was earned and come back asking for my earnings. Also, left me to tend the booth for hours while they shopped. People!

[WilliamsGiftshop]

Good for you!
It is so important in life to learn to say no (and mostly women find that hard to do).
And don't let anyone ever again take advantage of you (unless it is your own choice and you want to do this).

I disagree with turning people away at your door.
But then again, I have no problem with telling them after half an hour that I need to get back to work (or simply 'have other/urgent things to do now').
Hospitality combined with standing up for yourself, right?

Luckily most of your points don't apply to me. I am not surrounded by people begging for free stuff. I do give away things, but only on my own initiative, never to beggers.

Also, I proudly let everyone know what it is I do.
But like you, I don't share my supplies sources.
And when they are biased about people 'that just craft their time away', I explain to them that this here is my job (even though it doesn't pay the bills), that it is what I love to do and what gets me through the day (I have serious chronic health issues). And that people all over the world are so impressed by my work that they come to my Etsy shop and buy it from me.
How about that!

[ClevelandFlowShop]

Amen!

[Former_Member]

I guess I've had enough.

My mother got into selling on ebay and sold something that one of the family members gave her and she then she turned around and told her. Big no no. People talk and if word gets back to a certain family member someone is going to be very hurt. I had to tell her mom, you should have never told her that.

I'm o.k. with most of these lessons except when they show up on your door step after telling them your busy and would rather not have company. end up feeling sorry for them. I'm getting to where I'm irritated with it when they want to stay the whole day then invite themselves for supper. I'm at least saying no for the supper part.

[StuckOnSilver]

I share my sources for findings but I buy silver clay on line for the best prices and encourage others to do the same.

I have demonstrated my techniques at county fairs in the past but haven't done this in years.

[Former_Member]

Another thing you can do is hand them a business card. I think it sends the message that you are professional and serious about what you do. If people give you a hint they want something just hand them a business card and if they are serious they'll look you up online or call you and maybe you can make purchase arrangements.

[Former_Member]

I did demonstrate hand spinning at my first event. I'm thinking about offering lessons. I have that noted on my business card.

[Former_Member]

Am I being too selfish here? I'm serious people will come over and lecture me about having this kind of a business but then will be all for going to a show with me if I pay their way. I guess I'm turning into a hard cold business person? Well I have bought them yarn before because they said they would pay me back but learn later they spent the money on going to a movie etc...which is why I do my shopping alone.

[Former_Member]

I actually don't have issues with any of this. My friends and family highly support my business and get mad at me when I do try to give them a discount. I'm very blessed in that way. I keep reading horror stories on here.

I'm glad you found your boundaries. :)

[Former_Member]

O here's a joke.....If they come to your door unannounced start scratching furiously and say you have scabies!!!lol

[Former_Member]

Actually, I think in the past I have been *too nice* nd have conditioned certain people into expecting something for nothing. Both I and my mom have had problems with friends coming over and asking for things we have listed. Mom has actually unlisted a few of her items just to have the friend not want them anymore.

And I recently bought a lot of fabric from an estate sale and a friend talked me into making something for her with some of it then came over the other day and started asking about the other fabric I had for sale. I was safe this time because I could honestly say I already had it listed. I don't know it must be something about country folk and East Texas. It's as if I have a sign on my head that reads "I give stuff away for free".

[WilliamsGiftshop]

I agree, Rhonda, about giving them a business card whenever they beg to get something for free or whenever they don't realize that you are not just wasting your time. Make them realize you do valuable work.

And no, don't worry, your attitude is not hard or cold, just professional.
You don't let people take advantage of you anymore. That is not cold or hard, that is a good thing.

I used to give away most of my work for free too (before I had a shop). Nothing wrong with that, untill you decide to make a business out of your hobby.

My compromise: family and friends get a 20% discount.
Besides the products in my shop I make lots of other things, for example cards. When family/friends buy 3 of my cards, they get to choose a 4th card for free.
Perhaps you could introduce a family/friends discount too.

[Former_Member]

I'll try and think of something. My mother and sister offer to pay and mom has painted me a painting. I hate to charge my mom because she has done so much for me. My sister is a beautician and has cut my hair for free several times. But when she wanted me to make her friends some hooded scarves she gave me $65.

Here recently I've demanded gas money before I take anyone locally anywhere unless it is an emergency and they have no other way. For some reason people think I'm rolling in the dough. I'm not I have bills and have a little left over for supplies. Maybe $100. a month.Certain people know I have extra money and think they will use me as a free taxi. My mom says why not make it a ministry? Well so far I'm the "free barber" the free crafter, the free babysitter, do I *need* another ministry? I had to get ugly with one person and just told her how the cow eats the cabbage. People have seen my dark side and this last time gave me gas money.lol

[Former_Member]

Oh I forgot to add my husband told me not to give a certain neighbor anything anymore. "She'll just sell it.", he said. I didn't believe him at first. Last time she wanted something I offered to barter. Husband didn't even want me doing that. He was like, "well why didn't you just give her a hat along with that too?" I said we traded, but he wants to see me make a business out of this and just not give anything away anymore.

Now I'm thinking of that fabric I agreed to make baby blankets out of for same neighbor. I think I will list it unless they want to pay me for my work. Just list it and never mention it again. Man, the things I get myself into!

[weekendjewelry1]

Rhonda, that's it - and that's the hard part. You are the only one that can set boundaries - and people are going to get snippy with you when you do. LET THEM. Don't worry about it. If a neighbor or friend was in genuine need or there was an emergency, of course you'd help. But to just give stuff away because they ask? NO. Just say no. No, no no no. It will get (a little) easier :-)

[Former_Member]

Hi Jen. Saying no is the hardest thing I ever had to do. I've learned the hard way that if people really want something they will be willing to pay for it. The people who ask for stuff the most happen to be the people who are better off financially than us. They're driving a nice new car with big payments, husband has good job with overtime, they just gave away a note book and other electronic stuff....they can afford to pay me if they wanted to. The thing is they let on like their broke when they want something but when it comes time to pay you find out they went to the movies, bought a new laptop, a tablet. I seriously don't want some people coming to my house anymore. They have money. Why do they have to come here and want everything I have? I got people coming over this weekend who invited themselves to stay the weekend. I'm seriously going to pretend to have the flu!

[Former_Member]

The same applied to when I was doing hair. I ended up doing it as a "ministry" around here. My partner in school went to Dallas because people did not want to pay her in E. Texas. I had one person offer me $20 to do two perms. I was expecting at least $40. I was just new out of school. In a salon a perm costs $60 on up. I told everyone I'm not doing hair anymore until I get in a salon. People don't respect you when you try to do business out of the home. They are looking for a cheap or free service.

[weekendjewelry1]

Rhonda, you've learned to treat your business like a business - and that's what they haven't figured out yet. You are right, and don't let people tell you differently! Seriously. You have a good heart, or you wouldn't have got into this "she'll give us stuff" place. Now you just have to learn to be firm. It's the right thing to do.

[Former_Member]

Well enough of this nonsense. I think I want to go lay down and just chill the rest of the evening. Thanks and goodnight.

[KiltedWoman]

Wow, if these people are your friends you need new friends. Ones who aren't users of other people. This is not normal behavior. My friends won't even take the friend discount I give them! Good for you for not being a doormat. There is nothing wrong with that!
Family is a different matter and it can be tricky if they are taking advantage.

[Former_Member]

Actually, I do find it hard sometimes to say 'no' to a person. If I have the time to help others I will especially the fact that a lot of my friends and family already know that I'm good at designing and own a small business.

I learned a lot since I started my business and you mentioned most of them(if not all). Now, even if I ask for a suggestion or an idea I always come up with the final decision myself. I used to find it difficult to decide what to do but these days even if my decision was wrong I go for it and learn from the consequence. It helped me shape my thoughts correctly and I became a better decision maker than I used to be.

In the end, it's all about how you adapt yourself to the work environment and learn how to deal with others.

[Former_Member]

My experience is more like Julies. My family and friends support my business and argue with me that I don't charge them enough. I give friends and family a standard 20% discount. There are a couple of people I've done free pieces for since opening my shop, but those pieces were identified as gifts from the start.

I think my only frustration with selling to friends and family is that I have a couple of uber picky friends - and I can pretty much ensure that they'll come back after having and wearing a piece for awhile and ask for adjustments. I don't mind minor adjustments but don't want to have to totally rework a piece for someone. Luckily I've only had one person ask for a rework, and she was charged for the time to do it. Ultimately, I want customers - whether I know them or not - to love my work and want to wear it.

As far as asking about where I get my supplies - I don't have anyone in my close circle that does the same thing as me, and they all seem to get that materials are just part of the total cost of the item, so I don't feel like I need to hide those sources.

[PaperBoundLove]

I guess you really need to find better people to hang out with.

My family, friends and most of all, my fiancé have been very supportive of my work. I have some high school mates who keep saying "so do we get discount because we're your friends". I know they aren't into what I sell, but some people are just thoughtless and say stupid things. I haven't talked to them in awhile now - in fact, I only remember about that incidence while typing here.

Anyway, yeah, just work hard, and befriend with like-minded people and start losing the so-called friends a.k.a free-riders. They should respect you and respect your work. They should understand you are doing a living out of this.

And yes, like a lot of people above me said, this isn't a normal behaviour. All my good friends are very respectful and actually envy that I'm doing something I love and supporting myself. They don't ask for discount - most want to pay me more than what I ask for.

Good luck! (: x

[Former_Member]

Hi Khin, well, my family is supportive and most of the time offer to pay, except when I'm doig it as a birthday gift or because they did something for me.

I don't get much support from people who live around me. They come over and I feel like I have to hide everything. They ridicule what I do saying it's a waste of time and money. They invite themselves over and I don't have the benefit of feeling at home in my own house. They get bored in their own house and know if I'm at home come over and stay the whole day. I have no privacy. I feel like I have to hide everything because they start begging. Im ok with people coming over for an hour or two but not the whole day. They don't like being alone in their own house. It was worse before they went on dialasis. They were over here every day all day and I had no time to myself. I became the free babysitter. Then when it was time for their husband to be home they would get angry and storm out if I even hinted I wanted them to leave. I feel bad if she is on dialasis and just wants company but I can't deal with it. Her family needs to be taking care of her, not me.

[Former_Member]

well im going to close this before amin. does. PM me if anyone has any suggestions.