Is it enough for you?

[Former_Member]

OK I posted this on two other teams but got no response. What I'd like you to know is I'm disabled veteran and feel guilty for just collecting a check. I feel like my life is useless because I'm at home. I have a beauty license but don't really enjoy hair and really am scared of loosing my pension and not being able to make it in the beauty industry because of my condition and just don't excell at that like I do at my art. What I would like to know is if this is enough for you to make yourself feel like your contributing to society and not just being a taker?

[DebbenFarm]

Rhonda,

First of all, thank you for your service. You took the chance and put your life on the line for your country, and you should always be proud of that. No matter what happens to you, know that everything happens for a reason and you can choose to learn and grow from your experiences. Somehow, maybe years down the road, your life experiences will give you the unique opportunity to help someone. It might be you, or a stranger, or a family member. It happens to me all the time, because I look for the opportunity to help others. It just happened again tonight.

I spent 6 years in the Army (3 active / 3 Reserve) and know that I needed to be there and belonged there, despite the bad parts. As the years pass, everything makes more sense. I was a 31K the first 3 and reenlisted to be a 67U, and would have stayed in for 20+ if they hadn't been cutting everything through force reduction. Like most, I loved it and I hated it. But, if I HAD gotten what I wanted, I never would have met the girl who would become my wife, who I met just a month after I came off active duty.

Nothing happens by accident. It's all a part of God's plan to equip people with the ability to speak with experience and wisdom to be a voice to help others. Certainly you already have been able to help your family, and many others may find your perspective and knowledge to be helpful, too. I strongly believe the key is to take everything that has happened to you and turn it into something that you can use to help others (and yourself along the way).

This is why God gave us the great gift of free will. It is your choice everyday to do good things or bad things, positive or negative. Just like raising kids, at some point you have to step back and let them make their own choices, even when you know they are making the wrong one. They have to learn from their mistakes and hopefully they do, improving from experience. This is an act of love. God is letting you do what you want, but expects you to do the best you can, and make the most of the the gifts that you have been given.

I love old quotes, and this is one of my all time favorites:

"Do what you can, with what you have, where you are" - Theodore Roosevelt

This is a link to many others from him.

http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/t/theodore_roosevelt.html

You have served your country well. Hopefully you felt great about making the choice to raise your hand and take the oath, and you should. Now, years down the road, you are simply "off the path". We all had those times. I would suggest that you take time now to think about the blessings of friends and family and the great blessing of having the chance to serve in a renewed way. Take all that you are and recreate it into the person you know you can be, with a vision to serve to the best of your ability.

Guilt and self doubt can destroy you and the chance to be an inspiration to others and to find your purpose. Don't let that happen. Your family needs you. Rise up and make the most of everything. Find the positive! Many years from now, you will look back and see clearly that this was the right choice, and you will see the positive impact you had on many others.

I pray this helps you in some way. Our family prays for all of the soldiers around the world everyday and we will lift up a special prayer for you.

With the best of hopes and ongoing prayers for your journey, Ben

[LeedsRadio]

Rhonda-

How other people find meaning and a sense of accomplishment won't help you. There are people who live a lifetime of nothing and enjoy it and others who don't have time do all the things they do and hope to do. Neither is wrong. You have to decide for yourself but I will say avoid catch phrases, motivation sayings, and passive hope. If you decide you want to do something the only path is hard work. Wishing & hoping & receiving encouragement for 50 years won't do as much as just an hour of hard work.

[Plektra]

The contribution everyone can make varies. There are people who give in public view but they are not so kind behind closed doors. There are people who contribute a little and that's enough for them. There are people who give and expect something in return. And if you can't give, they are mean.

And then there are people who are stressed or socially anxious or not natural givers and decide to stay out of everyone's way to live alone or sort themselves out. Instead of passing their misery on to others. I think, that is meaningful contributions to others too.

[MariasWorkshop]

Rhonda,

I read and re-read your post and kept coming back to it trying to find the words to convey my thoughts, but could not until I read the above responses. I love all of them.

First, I deeply thank you for your service. Second, I could not and would not dare to tell you how to feel regarding collecting a check. What I can do is tell you how I feel on that subject. I firmly believe all disabled veterans should be well taken care of. I believe they more than earned that check. I also feel they should be supplied with excellent medical care and any other assistance they may need, be it further education or training, etc., to accommodate and improve their personal situation.

All I can say is follow your heart. Do what makes you happy. Do whatever satisfies your spirit and you will not only enjoy it, but you will grow each day and in the process perhaps achieve some peace and well-deserved happiness and even touch other people's lives and thus contribute.

Thanks for your service again. I wish you the best always.

[Former_Member]

Wow! Thank you for all your wonderful replies! The service was both bad and good for me. I was in during the first Gulf war. I both lovedandhated it. I've been offered an opportunity to practice in a salon....just practice and build my confidence, but I'd much rather be crafting and going to shows. I'm going to get my license renewed just in case, but phocus all my attention on making mywares until I'm ready to go to a show. Thanks again and God Bless.

[WilliamsGiftshop]

I have not been in the military and I'm not in the US (Dutch, living in Belgium), but I have been getting disability for 16 years now (I am 51).

I have a series of chronic health issues, which leave me with just 2-3 active hours a day, on a good day (I am ill on top of the chronic stuff quite a lot too).

While at first I felt guilty about not working, I came to terms with it in the long run. And I don't feel guilty about collecting the disability I am entitled to. When I worked I paid my part for it.

After getting used to no longer being able to be part of the rat race (hooray!), I found new meaning in life.
I don't know if this would work for you, because everyone is unique, but my goal in life is to make the world around me, or the world within my reach, a little prettier, one small step at a time.
I do that by making pretty things and sharing them with the world (showing, gifting or selling) and by being kind, caring and supporting.

No matter how limited I am, there are always ways in which I can reach that goal. Just a simple smiling "good morning" to a lonely senior on my daily walks. Or sending a handmade card for someone's birthday. Or filling a box of my handmade creations for a silent auction for some charity. Or sending an e-mail or Etsy convo to someone who is ill, asking "how are you doing today?".
Most of these things don't even cost any money, if money is tight for you.

PS: did you know Etsy has got a team for sellers with disabilities and sellers who take care of a spous or child with disabilities? The Etsy Createability Team: https://www.etsy.com/teams/5732/createability-team

[CircusOfCelebrations]

In the end, only you can quiet any voice inside of you that is giving negative vibes, and decide what you are comfortable with. Don't put your self worth in other's opinions of you, but in what you want to achieve and work hard to make it happen. Then you can determine for yourself if you have tried hard to achieve your goals, or what you want to do differently about that.