Dealing with the haters

[Former_Member]

I have recently been feeling 'hated upon' by very close people in my life regarding my jewelry making, basically they don't want to be a part of any conversation regarding my craft. Some pretty nasty stuff.

Does anyone feel like they are met with some resistance with their craft? How do you deal with the naysayers, whether it be friends, family, significant others, or even possibly the customers.

If so, how do you deal?

[RazielaDesigns]

First of all, DON'T LET IT GET YOU DOWN!

I get it a lot from my husband. I get "We don't have the extra money to waste on that stuff" a lot. I deal with it by gloating when I sell something and creating things from old pieces of jewelry I have around. I also recreate from pieces that I have made a year or two before.

I have had customers that have been extremely ugly too. I've even had a customer use another word for "poop" to describe my jewelry. Look at it like this, it's just that person's loss that they didn't buy from you.

The best advice is you just have to turn the other cheek and work that much harder to prove them wrong.

[rainbeauxcraft]

Oh, so sorry to hear you're having to deal with this....hmmm...I have to say, when I'm faced with negativity, I generally do this:

I make them deal with ME and my positive attitude. Not in an in-your-face way, but in a can't-get-me-down way, and I try to gently turn the conversation to another topic. Or, ignore, ignore, *ignore*!

I suppose it depends on their motives. If they're jealous (took me a long time to realize some could be jealous of creativity or doing something that looks interesting to them), or if they're just trying to turn the spotlight on them, the ignore tactic is possibly best.

[Rabbittude]

Uh yeah. When I hit visual communication training in 2003, I was a huge bunny lover. So I always created lots and lots of bunnies. I have been called the bunny lady, rabbit lady, that rabbit woman and all in the most dismissive negative put down tones. I didn't see fans of steampunk, gothic or science fiction getting the same dismissive treatment.

When my rabbits get really aggravated with me they turn their backs and ignore me completely. So I guess learning from a rabbit is not such a bad thing. Walk away, turn it away, leave it behind and continue on.

Hopefully you will have a time when you can turn it into a laugh on them, like I did when I got my first job one month out of school. The hiring company recognized I could do the work they needed because of a Flash cartoon of a rabbit dancing that I had created in school and had in my portfolio.

[Former_Member]

Thanks! I think I will just continue to be a duck and let everything roll off my back. I just get so sensitive about my creativity because I spent so much time and energy on it. But I guess if they have a problem, its THEIR problem!

[Rabbittude]

Exactly, it is their problem. Be who you are and do what you love.

[Former_Member]

I get flack from my parents of all people. My husband is supportive of me and doesn't understand why my parents don't see the 'brillance' in my work. I may not always follow the rules of art, which is why I don't win in juried art contests. but my work is interesting. It hurts and it sucks that someone thinks very little of your work. I still haven't told my parents I quit my 'stable' job of being a page at a library to follow my art.

[Former_Member]

It seems like the people that you love the most, say the worst things! At least in my case...

[Former_Member]

I have to say the 'Bunnygirl' got some good stuff. I used to have a white rabbit that had blue eyes, unfortunatly she had drowned in the fish pond in the aviary that we kept her in.

[Former_Member]

Me too! His name was snowball :) I used to try to walk him on a rabbit leash, he hated it and ended up chewing through it. Can't say I blame him.

[Former_Member]

Don't let it get to you. I know it is hard and it hurts and it is very frustrating... but just try to think of it this way:

You are going to be amazing and you are going to prove them wrong.

The only person in my life who is 100% supportive is my boyfriend. I'm not sure what I would do without him. My mother is so/so on the subject along with my aunts and friends but my grandparents think it's ridiculous. But oh, well is how I see it. I am FINALLY happy doing what I want full time and poo on whoever doesn't support me. :)

[Former_Member]

It's hard to ignore negativity when it's coming from people close to you. My approach in that situation is to confront it directly. I had occasion to do just that with my husband today. He was being kind of nasty about my etsy store and the amount of time I spend on it. I just told him this is important to me and he doesn't have to like what I'm doing, but his comments are hurtful, and he needs to either be supportive or be quiet about it. I would take the same approach with anyone close to me.

For people who aren't close to you, including customers, the ladies are right: ignore it. You can't please everyone, and there are always people out there who will be rude. The important thing is to be true to yourself. As long as you enjoy what you're doing, go for it.

And one great thing about etsy is that you always have people to talk to about your craft and get support and encouragement from. You guys are awesome.

Finally, for the bunny people, I never had a bunny, but my dad's nickname was Bunny. He got it from his mother when he was a child, it stuck, and everyone knew him as Bunny his whole life. So I love bunny things, too.

[solocosmo]

My husband, mom and dad are all totally supportive! But the extended family is harder on me :( Like at Easter I got things like:

People REALLY buy your stuff? ~ yes really
So you actually make money? ~ yes, real money
So when are you going to go back to a 'real job' ~ hopefully never, thanks.

It was hard explaining to them that perhaps some people like my artwork...and this totally bummed me out. It made me sad that I know I have told everyone in my family about my shop and none of them have even bothered to look at it! I just try to smile and not get too down about it!

Keep your chin up!!!

[Pinoodles]

I think self-confidence and passion for what we love can be intimidating to others--especially those who aren't very creative.

Just becauase we are emotionally mature enough to reconcile all of it doesn't mean others are.... husbands, parents and friends may not always understand our art, our passion or our pursuits, but on some level they see that we're serious and understand that they can't change us. So belittling or other petty behaviors are all the only response they know (did I mention that not all people are creative? ) To thine own self be true! Have a creative day!

[Rabbittude]

People ridicule for many reasons, lack of understanding, fear of looking stupid for not understanding, seeing creativity as childlike (which it is, I love the kid in me, go girl), going with the pack if the pack is ridiculing, envy of what they can't do themselves, regret for giving up own their own dreams, and fear of things or people who are different. Then you have the people who just don't like to see other people who are happy, because they never found their own way to happiness.

What people have sought to put me down for is actually a positive, because the funny thing is that being the bunnygirl is memorable. So after others have come and gone in different places I have been in my life, people remember me. So maybe what you are being put down for is actually part of that unique story that makes you memorably you.

[Former_Member]

Just want to share something even though every single person around me always supportive towards anything I do

I have this desire to change life around me as often as possible to stay sane lol
I used to repaint the walls of our house every two month, I used to ask my husband to move furniture around pretty often
I redid our front and back yard every spring......and list can go on :)

Almost a year ago I opened felting for myself and believe me my husband is happy! All my creativity goes towards my shop and my scarves.
The walls stays untouched, the furniture settled down and the yards are blooming happily without distraction from my side :)

Ask people around you what would they prefer - a maniac with new ideas of redoing your house (and believe me this is costly) or the happy crafter???

[Artwonders]

Solocosmo - I get the exact same comments from my extended family! I even have a girlfriend, that if I even mention "my work" she immediately changes the subject.

It almost feels like there is no respect! I try really hard not to let it get me down.

I am really happy about the fact this was posted, because I thought I was the only one!! Thanks for reminding me that I am not alone in these negative comments! :)

[Former_Member]

We go through so many things during our growing into becoming what we are becoming.

Sometimes we feel alone; all alone! But that testing and trying of the stuff we are made of can really make us stronger, and forge us into people of endurance and who have a firm grasp of what our "Why" is!

You have to sort of have an iron forehead to move forward, but just do! Realize that most people are secretly jealous of you for your tenacity, your individuality, and your ambition. So, forge the way ahead, and shine on!

You also have the opportunity to really let the hurt and the frustration get you down and make you bitter. But the poison of that bitterness only isolates you further and then you can spiral downwards. Then, what good will you be.

Right?

So, shine away, have fun, and take all those risks!

You'll be a better person for it!

[cortayloo]

You have to stay strong, and know who you are. We get so excited, don't we? Just hang in there, and keep making beautiful things...

[TAGSMITH]

Wholesale will validate you to your "friends". It's like they think "oh, a store believes in them they must be good. " Once I started making dress belts sold at Fred Segal, peoples attitude changed.

[Former_Member]

The people who love you the most shouldnt be the ones telling you bad things about your craft. How horrible! If they love you they should be happy for you and with you!
If a friend or loved one gave me positive criticism thats one thing, but being nasty is just not acceptable.

[Former_Member]

My hubby told me that my shop on Etsy and all the jewelry I make is not a business! I asked him what it was then? I make a product, advertise (sometimes I pay extra to have an ad run), and bring in a profit when an item sells (sales are slow at first)! I don't see how this is not a business! Then he tells me that it is sort of a business! He thinks I am just trying to get out of house work or getting a real job! But I want to stay at home and watch my baby grow up not stick her in a daycare and miss all the neat toddler stuff! I also don't trust daycares to do a good enough job! and I am hoping to homeschool so if I can make enough with my Chainmaille then it will be all the more possible! and at this point I just want to do really well and rub it in his face! Even if that is a mean way of thinking!
Wow that really ran on for a bit, but at least I know that I am not alone and that we will all be better because of it! What doesn't kill me can only make me stronger!!! I Hope!

[Former_Member]

The best thing you can do for yourself and your business is to seek out and be around positive people who DO support you and appreciate you for who you are. When the haters try to suck your soul, it's important to have those positive people in your life to boost you back up! :)

[FreenaDesign]

Guys i'm so sorry to hear that people around you don't appreciate your art and what you created, I've looked at your shops and i'm amazed.

I like the idea that across the world somebody is wearing my items.It's an awesome experience.
My sister who's running a big business still gets the "get a real job" . Just because we work from home doesn't mean we don't work, and to tell you something : it might be even more than a regular job. I'm sure you all stayed late to work on your projects.

Good luck to you all and follow your dreams.

[Former_Member]

Thank you so much to everyone who posted. These are all amazing insightful comments. I feel so much better.

-Courtney