How can I improve seo for this?

[HiTeeShop]

https://www.etsy.com/ie/listing/1329401357/personalised-set-of-2-mugs-hands-man-and?click_key=ff1f49...

[HypeDecals]

I would recommend breaking it down, it seems like a run on sentence.  You want it to be as if someone is googling Personalized mugs. This is a good example 

https://www.etsy.com/listing/1250436808/custom-text-coffee-mug-customizable?ga_order=most_relevant&g...