Mary this is the answer Admin gave in another thread:
http://www.etsy.com/teams/11969/direct-checkout/discuss/10964416/-------------------
Evelyn says
Hi Sherry,
Thanks for posting. To clarify, Etsy does not send automated messaging to a buyer when he or she has an order that is pending. Rather, we send the standard order receipt email, and a followup if necessary.
If a sale cannot be processed at that time, please note that we will reach out to both the buyer and the seller to update both parties.
We want to ensure the integrity of our review process, and minimize any confusion that may be caused by emailing a buyer unnecessarily.
You as a seller are always welcome and encouraged to keep your buyers updated about your shipping timelines. Pending orders are processed within 48 hours. I hope this information will assist you all in deciding how to structure your shipping accordingly.
-Ev