Your shop announcement is rather long. It's a cute story, however, there is an actual character limit to what search engines will show to potential customers. Use etsyshoptimizer.com This has valuable information and it's free to use. This will help you see what areas are weak in your shop and give you tips to help you strengthen them.
I had a wordy shop announcement at one time too. People really never actually took the time or had the time to read it. Basically, they want to know what you make or curate and sell. No one cared that my shop was named in honor of my grandmother and that's where the name Augie came from.
I made it short and to the point. That helped tremendously!
You create handmade children's clothing for example. You could say "One of a kind handmade children's clothing and accessories" and insert a couple of descriptive words like gorgeous, fashionable, fabulous, fashion forward, sweet, etc...
Hope that helps!
