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Etsy Insights: Work life integration… Time to Cancel “Mom Guilt”
Hi there! My name is Jessica. I lead the communications and engagement marketing team at Etsy. We work with reporters and influencers, develop partnerships with companies and organizations, share beautiful images on social media, and spark discussions with wonderful people like you in our Etsy community.
I absolutely love my job at Etsy. I also absolutely love my children. But I absolutely don’t love mixing my job and kids. Not that any of us Mommas have a lot of options right now. During the best of times working moms are STRESSED. “Work-life balance” is more of a goal than a reality. And in the time of COVID-19, throw in educating our kids at home, health and economic stressors, trying to keep food and toilet paper in the house, and caring for parents… well, I don’t know about you, but my proverbial mental load is completely overloaded, even with an incredible employer. I could cite a whole bunch of new studies. Why bother? They’d tell us what we already know in our heart of hearts. Being a working mom was challenging even before the days started blending together. (Wait, it’s Tuesday? Is it Thursday?) But there are a couple of mental mantras and life hacks I’m relying on to get through the day. And I’d love to hear yours!
-- KILL THE NEGATIVE SELF-TALK IMMEDIATELY: Yeah, I’m talking to you. “I’m the worst mom because (insert reason here.)” You know what I’m talking about. Negative self talk is so common. We all carry that guilt around. And it accomplishes nothing. So cut it out. We’re in the middle of a global pandemic. We’re doing the best we can. And that makes us actually kind of awesome. Look how adaptable and resilient we are!
-- FIGURE OUT WHAT MATTERS TO YOU AND MAKE TIME FOR THAT THING: You have to make “me” time. I can’t stress this enough. Unhappy parents make for unhappy children. Full stop. If it means your kids are about to watch Moana for the 12th time this week so you can get an order out, or rethink your product offerings, or do an employee review, or take a shower, or read a book, do it. Whatever is important to you, do that thing. And see tip above about NOT feeling bad about it.
-- GET REAL WITH YOURSELF: I don’t know about you, but I’m not winning any productivity contests right now (as I leave my computer yet again to clean up a pool of pee from potty training my 3 year old). And I’m good with that. I am taking a “vital few” approach to life. Only the most important tasks are getting prioritized and the other, “worthwhile many” ideas bouncing around in my head are getting written down in a notebook to revisit later. If it’s still a great idea in a month, I’ll take it out, dust it off, and figure out how to get it done. If the idea doesn’t seem so bright and shiny then, I will have saved myself some work.
-- HOLD YOUR LOVED ONES CLOSE, IF YOU CAN: I’m in a house with five humans, three cats and two dogs. It’s pure chaos. And there’s a part of me that knows when this is all over, when we emerge from this quarantine-chrysalis to whatever our new normal looks like, I will miss some elements of the here and now. I’ll miss having lunch every day with my 14 year old, our daytime heart-to-hearts. I’ll miss cleaning up the puddles of pee, and typing this message with a rambunctious toddler in my lap. I’ll miss wearing pajama pants to big meetings. Or maybe I’ll make PJ’s my new fashion statement. Who knows? But I’m taking it as it comes, day by day. I am so grateful I have this job I love… and these kids that I love. And we’re safe. And my two 80-year-old moms are safe. And I’m counting my blessings every day because it could be so much different than it is.
So, how are you thinking about juggling all of your responsibilities right now? What matters to you the most at this very moment, and what can you kick down the road? Also, any good, educational shows for the kiddos you want to suggest, or hands-on arts & crafts projects to keep them occupied? How are you thinking about summer activities? I want to hear all your ideas!
WorldHatSpectrum
·4 years agoA great article that will help us in our life.
MamaLoveOrganics
·5 years agoThis thread might be dead by now but juggling a day job with my Etsy shop is definitely on my mind right now—especially because my shop sales have been increasing but not enough to hire help or quit my day job yet! One thing that occurred to me lately is that back in the day a woman might have had a husband who worked while she took care of the kids and household chores. Dad would come home after a long hard day "at the office"—I know this is a fantasy for people raised working class—and mom would have the house clean and food on the table. All dad had to do was sit back and relax and be served. But where's my housekeeper and cook? So many of us are trying to do what our mothers could never have imagined and would have shrunk back in horror from! My solution isn't something I'm really happy about but the truth is I'm either going to have to be much more insistent about my guy stepping up around cooking and cleaning or have a lot more acceptance about us living in a messy house!